Candidly Christ: If the Bible was a Comic Verse (or Poem 2)

When God made a plan
To send us a man
To clear all our records of evil and greed,
He meant for that man
To be His Son, and
Defeat the schemes of all those filled with deceit.

Thus, God’s desperate measures
Cancelled all the pleasures
That Joseph was entitled to from his marriage,
For during their leisure
In Bethle’em, a treasure
Became his and Mary’s due to no miscarriage.

And that was the birth
Of God’s Son on Earth
Whose first name was Jesus and last name was Christ.
His frame had no girth.
The product called mirth
Was His to sell for no monetary price.

He gave sight to blind
Men, and remained kind
To those who could not afford medical treatment.
In time, He did find
12 fans who didn’t mind
To romp about with Jesus for entertainment.

But one jealous fan,
Judas, made a plan
To get rid of Jesus for once and for all.
He went to the clan
Of Caiaphas and
Made a pact with them to programme Jesus’ fall.

After that, he went
To Jesus’ fans’ tent
And kinda drank Jesus’ blood and ate His flesh.
With their meal, content,
The 12 fans did spend
That night there till morning did make them all fresh.

And that was the day
Judas acted gay,
For he pressed his lips on Jesus’ cheek with suction;
And that was the way
Judas did betray
Our poor hero, Christ, into timely abduction.

From then on the Son
Of God had no fun
For He was whipped, tortured and sentenced to doom.
Jesus’ death was done
By crucifixion;
But in 3 days He left his cemetery room…

And went to His Dad
Who must’ve been glad
To get Him back from No-Longer-Virgin Mary.
Anna, don’t be mad
At this poet-lad –
The burden of boredom I just couldn’t carry.

This is actually an old work of mine. From 9th May, 2013 to be precise. I’d written this for a middle school textbook, and dedicated it to my music teacher, and one of my best friends, Anna Santiago.


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