Poem 5

Here’s an ode to meaningless diction that holds no weight for lovers of rhyme, or frail but labyrinthian fiction, whose grand uncertainties adorn their time. My ruminations cause amusement as I am led to face a fact: Words unworthy of employment glide through centuries, intact. Humankind! Open your eyes! Thy hard-drive’s brimming full with junk. [...]

A Letter To All Real Musicians…

In a time when sexual barely-even-innuendoes, and insipid but rapidly delivered sentences dominate the music scene almost all over the globe, I am writing a letter to all musicians with a hope that they will not be lured by the razzmatazz of fame and fortune and stay true to the music they were born to do.

Isn’t It a Wonder…

1. that everybody inside a black driver’s cab is against racism? 2. that every few years, we rejoice over being given a chance to vote for a brand new dickhole to completely fuck us up? 3. that no woman is a feminist in the bedroom? 4. that no man is accused of being “like dogs” in [...]

Candidly Christ: If the Bible was a Comic Verse (or Poem 2)

When God made a plan To send us a man To clear all our records of evil and greed, He meant for that man To be His Son, and Defeat the schemes of all those filled with deceit. Thus, God's desperate measures Cancelled all the pleasures That Joseph was entitled to from his marriage, For [...]

10 Problems Only People Too-Damn-Hilarious Will Understand

1. Everytime you're in a group, and someone finishes a statement sentence, all eyes turn to you, twinkling with the expectation that you'll say something that will troll the former speaker. 2. And since you're always trolling speakers that precede you, people have started talking lesser and lesser around you... which means you always see [...]

10 Things You Just Don’t REFRAIN FROM Telling a Paulite

1. "No swimming pool? HAH !! You're OFFICIALLY underprivileged !!!" 2. "You guys wear woolen blazers with cardigans even during fuckin' SUMMER ?! HAH !! You're OFFICIALLY aliens !!!" 3. "Y'all homies can't handle bigger 'BALLS' must be why y'all play only your goddamn cricket." 4. "So what you're saying is, your only real uniqueness [...]

10 Things You Just Don’t Tell a Hermonite

1. "What holds on tight With all his might To past glory? A Hermonite!!" 2. "You come last in cricket. In football. In swimming. In fests. Even in academics... What's your secret?" 3. "No seriously. What's your secret? Are you guys like secretly keeping up your losing streak cuz you've figured that's the only record [...]